Life isn’t always fair…but then you knew that!

It has been a long time since I posted on here.  Budget wise we are doing wonderful!  We have paid off all of our debt minus two things!

Sometimes when life is on a up swing you do not think about the things that could be going wrong behind the scenes.

I have watched a very close friend of my struggle with infertitliy and just never thought that I would be in her shoes.  Not because I deserve more but because what are the chances.  I have two sisters that have zero problems and I’m overall healthy.

Well in 2016 we found out we were expecting and we were over the moon.  5 short weeks later I was being admitted for emergency surgery because of an ectopic.  The news was like nails down a chalkboard.  I try to attempt to find the positives in all situations and my husband and I powered through this knowing that we still had one tube left!  With the chances of an ectopic being 3% the Dr was sure that I should have no problem.

Fast forward to April 2nd 2017.  We had gone to see a high risk OBGYN who had put on us medication to get my period to start.  After the two weeks there was no period.  I decided to take a pregnany test to make sure it was negative.  I hadn’t had a period since January so I knew in my head that it would be false. Boy was I wrong.  Two lines were starring right up at me! I thought holy s***! This is happening, with it being the day before the one year anniversary of the loss of our first baby I thought nothing could go wrong.  Again, I was very wrong.  A short week lady we were heading from the Dr. office to surgery.  Another ectopic.  At first I was shattered.  I sat in the Dr. office for a long time.  I was shocked, sadden, hurt and mad.  Why was this happening again.  You live your life thinking you are a good person and that good is suppose to come to you.  By the time we got checked into the hospital and I had time to regain my composure, I had decided that this was not the end of our journey.  We could move past this and still have our family.

Fast forward to now.  We have met with our IVF Dr. and we have found out all the good and the bad of IVF.  We are moving forward as of next week.  I’m excited and nervous.  Mostly nervous about the shots and the outcome.  All medicines came in the mail on Wednesday and everything is set up and waiting for Tuesday!

Meds

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3 thoughts on “Life isn’t always fair…but then you knew that!

  1. Hi! I am sorry to see you have had a tough time, but it is great you feel able to speak out about this, for me, my blog is therapy, and i hope you get the same for yours! Good luck on your upcoming cycle, i have been though it, if you ever need to talk, i’m right here!

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  2. So sorry for your loss…I’ve always thought that if I can just at least fall pregnant even if I afterwards find out that its not a viable pregnancy then I would be fine cause at least I would know that I am able to get pregnant. But after reading this post, I can imagine nothing worse than losing your baby each time you find out you are pregnant. I dont care how the world sees it, when you fall pregnant, you are a mother already. There’s a life growing inside you. A little person you have instantly fallen inlove with, had plans for and imagined making so many memories with. I wish you all the best for your first IVF cycle, its quite a journey but you will survive it!

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    1. You know what is funny. Every time something happens I say “OK. That’s Ok. I still have this…” Then I tell myself but if that doesn’t work I’m going to just fall apart. But when that next bad thing happens, you don’t fall apart. You find the next thing to look forward too. I hope that you find yourself with a positive test very soon!

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